Blaze has a Gun
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Simply put


Tails was just your local average smithy. He could do a lot of things, like have a duplicated rear which propelled him sky high. He could fly up to elevations so astoundingly high that he could even be all alone in a chair and just go about wishing.

While the orange foxboy was busy tweaking his exclusive goods, Blaze entered the trading establishment and slammed seventeen rings on the front desk. "What can this get me?"

Tails made a sly grin at the loot presented to him. He could surely get more through his shady business practices. "I'm afraid nothing here is that cheap."

Blaze groaned and relinquished thirteen more rings. "That's everything I have," she said.

Tails bit each ring to test their proof of legal tender. After the test, Tails scooped the golden sum into his drawer and handed Blaze a long hollow metal rod.

Blaze was infuriated and felt cheated. He immediately stuffed her hand into the rod and used her pyrokinesis. She set Tails twin booties on fire and Tails pushed up his daisies. Blaze felt horrified by the murder she had just committed, but then realised…

The forgery was now hers to command.

She stole all of the lethal weapons and made a mad dash to Eggman's fatness lair.

Eggman was busy playing poker with Bokkun. Bokkun was winning because Bokkun rules.

There was a knock on the door and Eggman opened it. "Ahoy," he said as he looked down at the purple cat with a metal tube stuck to her hand.

Blaze prepared the blaster and blasted Eggman with a blast of flames until he was hardboiled.

Bokkun screamed at the sight of his felled dad thing. He took out his beam katana and dueled Blaze into oblivion.

But like a phoenix, Blaze rose from the ashes and was reborn as an even more terrifying warrior. She bested Bokkun and took over Metropolis.

Sonic overheard about Tails and Eggman's death, but he didn't care because he supported legal cow scrubbing.

But Sonic did indeed care when he heard that Blaze had destroyed the local chili dog shop. "I cannot believe that evil creature!" said Sonic with a glistening tear that fell from his single duct and hit the ground with a droplet casting forth the misery of a noble hero who was more benevolent than stinking Superman.

Sonic rushed over to Blaze's house and knocked on the door with his third fist.

Blaze opened the door. She saw Sonic and then fired into his face.

Sonic swallowed the fire and became Darkspine Sonic. He launched forth and delivered 100 mighty blows to Blaze's evil face.

Blaze was astonished that Sonic had grown so powerful over the course of one week. She decided to get spiffy. She let her pet tadpoles go into the wild where they could be free.

The baby frog disclosure was just what Blaze needed in order to summon her big brother Big to the field.

"What is the situation?" asked Big.

"Sonic is trying to defeat my reign of chaos," replied Blaze as she charged her fire.

Sonic laughed and shoved his entire cheek collection down Big's throat. Big almost died from taking in the full force of the Sonic.

Fortunately, Blaze had a backup plan. She had Za Warudo.

And then Sonic was defeated instantly because Blaze's deus ex machina powers were the most incredible thing to exist since Gen 6 Gale Wings.

"No…" said Sonic in his SA1 accent that barely contained any emotion at all.

Blaze then lowered the barrel of her blaster and took off Sonic's shoes with the cannon shot.

"I am shoeless…" whimpered Sonic and he slowly walked home to contemplate his entire existence, becoming a greater philosopher than Descartes in the meantime.

Blaze now owned the world. Her gun hand was just too strong to be contended with. Plus she had Za Warudo and Big the Cat on her side.

That was until Charmy Bee finally arrived and gave his two cents on the matter. As a striving politician, Charmy had a big brain, big voice, and lots of money. He became the new emperor of Legoland and used his antennae to summon a stand of his very own: Bob Nunu.

"Gasping hacks!" cried Blaze as she read about the stupid occurrences of Charmy Bee on her teen social media. She charged her blaster and used the fire to propel her toward Charmy's castle.

She was about to meet him face to face, but Vector and Espio were guarding the throne room with their deliciously saucy abs.

Blaze was so taken aback by the hot audience of muscular integrity, that she had no choice but to surrender. She bowed down to the abs and was met with a swift kick to the rear that landed her in the dungeon.

In the dungeon, Blaze met Link, who played his ocarina to break the cell bars. Blaze escaped prison and shot cannon fire at all of the guards. When she came back to all of Espio and Vector's righteous charisma, she was better prepared. She closed her eyes and set the whole room on fire. Vector and Espio caught severe toe injuries and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Blaze smiled at her success and stepped into Charmy's ugly throne room.

"Behold! I am here!" announced Blaze.

"I am beholding this," said Charmy as he took a slurp of honey from his golden chalice. He then took his mighty slingshot and fired an explosive coconut at the feline warrior.

Blaze was struck hard and lost her eyes. As a blind individual, she had to rely on the wise teachings of Daredevil in order to overcome her inconsistencies. But then Daredevil got cancelled.

Charmy laughed and took a sip of his pristine honey. "It is good to be king…"

Then Blaze fired her final shot and it seared the entire castle from head to toe. Blaze had won and she threw Charmy in her own dungeon.

"Swell," said Chaz the Skunk as he became the new leader of Corneria and he and Fox McCloud gave Blaze a trophy for her justice.

Blaze smiled, swallowed the trophy, and then hopped into Old Man Jenkin's Jalopy.

"Howdy, Mrs. K," Blaze said to the Master Emerald as she passed by. Knuckles was so honoured to have known this wonderful person.

**THE END**


End file.
